Coliopox — There Is No Cure For The Virus of Stupidity That Got Us Here
Yes, I know the word espionage is now fully engaged in terms of Yam Tits. And yes, I know the GOP has gone hear-a-pin-drop quiet. But while the speculation rolls on and the pundits parse the warrant, there are still myriad other events roiling around us.
For the past three months while I was ensconced on a hill in North Carolina, I watched as this country basically decided “Fuck it.” Not only about COVID, which is still taking an average of 500 citizens a day.
Let’s pause for a moment on that one.
Since I returned and began collecting the data again (8/2), we have lost 5,770 more people. Today is the 12th, that means an average of 577 lives lost, or FOUR Boeing 737s crashing daily. The 737 is still one of the most flown aircraft in the United States. That means if you are jaunting to Disneyland or grandma’s house or to Boston for a business trip, you are likely to find yourself onboard one. Given those odds, would you be eager to put your tray table in its full, upright and locked position? Probably not.
Yet here we are, 1,061,346 people dead, and over 500 being added daily, and we have all just basically decided, “Ehh, fuck it. COVID is so 2021.”
I realize COVID has mutated to become insanely easy to contract. We have all seen friends, coworkers, family turning up positive at an alarming rate lately. Perhaps you, too, have turned the test red, despite your years long best efforts to stay safe, mask up, get vaccinated and boosted.
The good news is that if you have taken the available vaccines and boosters, you and your circle have likely weathered COVID without a trip to the ER or the need to deep throat a ventilator tube.
That doesn’t mean it’s gone. That doesn’t mean it’s not deadly. Did you know, in the midst of your ennui over all things pandemic, that there are currently 4,547 people in critical condition with COVID-19 in hospitals across this country? Rhetorical question. Of course you didn’t. Don’t feel bad, it’s not a stat that gets trotted out much. But I’m me, and I look at it daily, so Giddyup.
4,547 real people. Men, women, children — all fighting for their lives against a virus this country never took seriously enough. A virus that laid bare the hubris, ego, and arrogance of a huge swath of our populace. Asking you to wear a mask to help other people was just too much to ask of you Facebook scientists and Meal Team Six patriots. Because of you 500 more people will be dead by tomorrow. Buy hey, as long as it’s not you, who cares, right? Even the CDC has basically taken the over nagged, worn down parent approach and finally yelled at the kids, “Fine! Do what you want!”
The Fuck It approach to public health. Just in time for monkeypox to continue its creep across the states.
But fear not! If you listen to the craven, ignorant twats in the GOP and over at FOX, it’s the 80s again and as long as you’re not gay, you have no worries. Seriously, watching them blow the dust off that playbook has been vile. Monkeypox does not discriminate any more than did AIDs. If you’ve got a pulse, you’re a candidate.
It does not matter that warnings have been sounded for decades. And no, it does not matter that back in 2017 when it started popping up in earnest in the Congo, it was seen mostly in young homosexual men. Like HIV and AIDS, it did not stay that way, and the time lost to that narrative of gay boogeymen has enabled it to spread. A full third of global cases are now found in the United States. Get your foam fingers out — we’re #1 again!
Is monkeypox deadly? It can be, but of nearly 32,000 global cases thus far, only 12 deaths have been recorded. That’s great, but it is heinous and painful and contagious. Do you want this?
Incidentally, that’s a young girl, not a homosexual man.
From WaPo reporting: Scientists’ worst fear is that monkeypox may establish a permanent foothold in the United States and other countries, joining viruses such as HIV and influenza.
Add to that fear the fact that a vaccine is not widely available, and lord knows millions in this country would never get in line to take it, and we are setting ourselves up for another disaster. But let’s focus on what really matters, ok? The name, guys. THE NAME.
The World Health Organization is literally holding an open forum to field new names because the current one (that has been in use for decades and decades) is off putting. I’m not kidding. Because human beings are, on the whole, far too sophmoronic for their own good, we must rename a dangerous virus to make it more user friendly. Fine. Hmmm, looking at that photo, I’m offering up Pebbleflesh, Boba Pox, Snap-Crackle-Pox, and Jiffypox.
There. My contribution to mankind.
But wait! Not to be outdone by COVID and Rice Krispypox, Polio has oozed back into the conversation and said, Hold my beer.
Polio. I wish I was kidding. The virus we had all but eradicated through vaccination, is making a comeback.
Earlier this month, authorities in New York revealed that polio virus had been found in wastewater samples in Rockland and Orange counties after a case of paralytic polio was diagnosed in Rockland, NY. Now it is showing up in New York City wastewater samples. A CDC spokesperson says this is “just the very, very tip of the iceberg” and suggested there “must be several hundred cases in the community circulating.”
Sure, the majority of us have had the triple vaccine as babies and young children. That provides 99% protection from contracting it, from the possibility of related spinal meningitis, from the comeback of leg braces and iron lungs. But not everyone is vaccinated. Some in this world cannot receive vaccines for various medical reasons, setting up a lifelong danger of being immunocompromised and therefore relying on herd immunity to protect them. But there are, as we know, huge swaths of Karens and Chads who are anti-vax, anti-science, anti-rational thought. They are the reasons COVID has had such a fun time in our country, why the word smallpox made a reappearance, why more and more people will resemble Jiffypop containers, and why more people will contract polio, spreading like butter on hot bread.
The CDC refers to polio as once being “one of the most feared diseases in the United States.” At its height it was devastating the lives of 35,000 people a year. Then a vaccine came along and people lined up and rolled up their sleeves. It has been over a decade since this country has seen a single case.
CDC investigators are now “quite nervous” that polio “could mushroom out of control very quickly and we could have a crisis on our hands.”
Sadly, I have every faith that we will have a polio crisis on our hands, just as more people will have monkeypox on their hands, feet, faces, genitals. Just as morticians will have 500 more people dead from COVID on their hands by tomorrow. Because we are infected with the worst virus imaginable — STUPIDITY.
We have proven, repeatedly, just how stupid we are. How arrogant. How mendacious. Data is in abundance. Science will do what it can to educate, but too many are immune to the cure — FACTS.
To paraphrase the old saying, You can lead a horde to data, but you cannot make them think.
I’m begging. t’s past time to give a shit about your neighbor, to see beyond your own front door, to think about how you can contribute to the greater good. Time to BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… Who the hell am I kidding?
Enjoy your Coliopox.