The Boy Who Cried Coronavius: Can We Trust The COVIDiot-In-Chief?

Linda Sharp
10 min readOct 2, 2020

Trumps tests positive for COVID. The headlines began blasting across the internet in the dark hours.

If it’s true, then the system of averages has simply caught up with them. For months now we have watched as Trump and his lackeys flout every guideline, warning, protocol for how best to avoid contracting COVID-19. Refusing to allow White House staff to wear masks, holding rallies, blowing off the experts, having meetings with no distancing, and as recent as the debate Tuesday night, the biggest COVIDiot mocking Joe Biden for wearing masks consistently.

For months we have wondered how he has avoided contracting it as so many around him — from Secret Service to Senators and Congress people — have. Speculation has been constant.

But then he has had a protocol of daily, hell, hourly testing in the Oval and for all who come near him for as long as rapid testing has been available. Funny how that works. Testing, testing, testing for a hoax? Then continued testing as it was referred to as a “mild flu”? Then constant testing as he bragged just last week that “it affects virtually nobody.”

When it was announced last night that in-house fluffer, Hope Hicks, had come up positive, the watch was on. For the record, it was not the White House that announced that piece of information. They were forced to acknowledge it when reporters found out and went public. So the attempt to hide it was already underway.

Think not?

On Wednesday she boarded Air Force One with the gang as they headed to Minnesota for a private fundraiser at someone’s home and yet another rally. She began feeling ill on that trip, and they all knew. She quarantined on AF1 on the way back to DC — as much as one can on a plane. She was tested. She tested positive by Thursday.

In the run up to that positive test, the incubus of viral plague participated in a myriad of meetings and events and close quarters, no mask debate prep. Yet even with them knowing about her positive test and symptoms to boot, Trump traveled to Bedminster for a fundraiser where he posed for pictures and glad handed. It is now reported that he was feeling fatigued and not quite himself.

In addition to that fundraiser, irony weighed in as he delivered a recorded message for the annual Al Smith dinner. “I just want to say that the end of the pandemic is in sight, and next year will be one of the greatest years in the history of our country.”

Bloomberg reporters are the ones who broke the story of Hicks’ positive test. Trump finally confirmed it to Hannity on a phoned in interview at 9:45pm last night. At 12:54am, he tweeted that both he and Melania has tested positive.

Insomnia Twitter lit up.

Indignation at how this shitshow of an administration has handled coronavirus from the beginning. Talk of how Trump is a walking list of co-morbidities. Lots of references to karma. And sadly, the largest percentage of tweets questioning the believability of the announcement.

Yes, hard as it may be to grasp, the public seems to have a hard time buying anything this Wolf crier says. Couldn’t be the 20,000+ lies he has told since he took office? The skepticism is earned and deserved. Everything from wondering if this is how he gets out of having to debate Joe Biden again — the first one being such a rip roaring success for him. To speculation that this is how he will plead “health” and leave office only to have Pence step in and pardon him for any crimes that greet him at the exit door.

That this was the best way to kill the current news cycle that included his taxes, his debate fail, Melania caught on tape saying of caged children, “Oh what about the children that were separated? Give me a fucking break” and of Christmas, “Who gives a fuck about Christmas stuff?” (I personally think her face and that quote should be emblazoned on every red Starbucks cup this holiday season.)

People wondering if this is simply a sympathy ploy, or a way to “get it”, recover, and prove his manliness to his cultists. And that the same White House physician who listed Trump as weighing 243 pounds last year cannot be counted for anything in the realm of truth.

On the flip side, there is much that leans towards him finally getting bit in the ass by karma and tongue kissed by COVID.

He is a rabid, malignant narcissist. Showing any kind of weakness is completely anathema to his entire operating system. This announcement brings into sharp focus just how this is not a hoax, how he is as human as the rest of us, and that it affects virtually EVERYONE.

This morning, one by one, those who have been in contact with him or Hicks have been coming up positive. This includes many who attended Coney Barrett’s introduction in the Rose Garden on Saturday. Incidentally, Ms Transparent SC nominee has been outed by friends as having had COVID over the summer and not disclosing it. Oops.

His campaign has been completely scaled back to virtual events. This rally addict would not willingly give up his daily masturbation sessions. They are his precious.

His campaign began fundraising off his test results last night, so spare me any pearl clutching about Dems playing politics with this test news. (Love the part where they guilt the money out of the rubes with It’s only fair since he sacrificed millions of dollars to serve as your president.)

And the biggest tell that he and his minions may not be crying wolf came last night as eagle eyes spotted radar proof that military planes were launched off the east coast roughly 30 minutes prior to the announcement in a pre-emptive move that telegraphed to other nuclear powers to not fuck with the states.

So, let’s go with he has it. And if we are to believe the White House, he is exhibiting mild symptoms today. (Even though Dr. Ronny Jackson, whose scales work for shit, told FOX News that Trump had no symptoms at all just ten minutes earlier.) This highlights to the world just how much of a dumpster fire he and his entire support system of toadies, lackeys, yes-men, and ass kissers are.

At the debate, his posse, when approached by the Cleveland Clinic staff and informed of the masking requirements for the debate, refused to do so, even refusing the offer of masks being provided to them. The doctor’s staffer looked at her frustrated boss and said, “That’s all you can do.” Point of order here — the Cleveland Clinic could have had all their belligerent, ignorant asses escorted OUT.

They knew yesterday before he boarded the chopper to head towards Bedminster. This morning, human Bratz doll McIneny announced that staff deemed it ok for him to go despite his constant proximity to Hicks in the run up to her test. They knowingly risked the safety and lives of every person around him on the trip, every person with whom he interacted at the fundraiser. Essentially, it is not a stretch to say that someone at that event will end up having paid to have Trump kill him/her.

On top of that, this administration knew and was not able to summon up the decency and consideration to contact the Biden campaign or Chris Wallace, all of whom were at the debate. They all found out the way we did — breaking news. I am thrilled to report that the Bidens and Kamala and Doug have all tested negative for COVID and positive for decency as they all sent their best wishes to the Trumps for a speedy recovery.

I have watched as the right, that danced on RBG’s grave before it was even dug, now call for civility from the left.

FUCK YOU ALL. That includes Trump, his birther garbage wife, the toadies now testing positive, and every other enabler who has contributed to the deaths of 212,912 citizens. I save my sympathy for those who have endeavored to do everything right, to follow the science, who have religiously worn their masks, washed their hands, stayed home whenever possible, yet have turned up infected by Qanon-MAGAt infested cultists who cry HOAX! and shit their pants over being asked to mask up.

212,912 people. Scratch that, I just hit refresh. 213,223 are now dead. 643 out of every million in this country — gone. 7,525,695 positive cases so far. Your Maybelline manbaby is now in that number. And given his already shit health and every co-morbidity we can see, he could easily find himself in the other numbers. I don’t care how much Clorox he injects, if he mainlines hydrochloroquine, bathes in Holy Water, or how many lightbulbs he shoves up his ass — he is in some very dicey categories in terms of COVID mortality stats.

So will you dullards take it seriously now? Or will you hide behind more asinine Q drops — your latest being that he is in protective hiding because the mass arrests are about to start? Will you finally drop your bullshit about masks being slavery, oppression, a wholesale infringement on your rights? You know what is an infringement on your rights? COVID-19. Because it does not give shit one about your life, your liberty, or your desire to stick around and pursue happiness, or in your cases, crappiness.

Sadly, just as the questions have been asked on the left about the veracity of this test result, the same skepticism will continue to churn on the right. I have already seen people openly insinuating that the Biden campaign infected Trump’s microphone predebate and that is how he got it. DeAnna Lorraine — remember this brain trust? The one I wrote of who thinks The Masked Singer is a big plot to indoctrinate us into mask wearing? Well, she asked on Twitter “Does anyone find it odd that no no prominent Democrats have had the virus but the list of Republicans goes on and on?”

Oy. It couldn’t possibly be that one side follows the science, wears masks, and takes precautions, and the other side grabs their balls and screams LIBERTY! FUCK YEAH!

And the GOP denial beat goes on about COVID and precautions. Today in Wisconsin, a state where more than 17,000 people have tested positive in the past 7 days, and many hospitals are on the brink of being overwhelmed, GOPer legislators were filing a motion in court to block a mask mandate. Idiots, all.

This virus is not fucking around no matter how much Trump and his masses are. It does not care how much money you have, where you live, what color is your hat, who you plan on voting for, or if you have rapid results testing at your fingertips 24/7 like Trump. It only cares that you have a mouth and a nose and that you breathe. That’s it. That’s all. And it is happy to lurk just waiting for you to stroll by, eat out, hit the bar, go to a rally, or board Air Force One with someone who has it. One laugh, one cough, one shout — that is all it takes. Aerosol flies, you inhale. And good luck to you, your lungs, your heart.

Look, I find it bad karma to openly wish death on someone, so no, I do not wish it on the Tangerine Toddler who is getting his comeuppance. But would I cry if he goes downhill and has to suck on a ventilator for a couple weeks before managing to pull out of it? No, I would not. He has done nothing to prevent contracting it. He has done nothing to help others prevent contracting it. This is called schadenfreude, bitches.

So he and Melania get what they give.

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Linda Sharp

Author, columnist, blogger. Don’t Get Me Started and Transparent Trans Parent blogs