The GQP Needs Aborted

Last night while we slept the clocks got set back. No, not by an hour for daylight savings time, but by decades for women in the United States.

At the stroke of midnight, unencumbered by any interference from the Supreme Court, the most draconian of abortion laws went in effect in the state of Texas. And in being allowed to take hold, it has paved the way for state after state to follow course.

Six weeks. The new law places a 6 week limitation on all abortions. For the men out there who know fuck all about a woman’s body to begin with, most of us have zero idea we are pregnant at six weeks. Unless we are desperately trying to become pregnant, with tests at the ready the second we estimate ourselves to be late, we really don’t know. That is why nearly 90% of abortions take place after 6 weeks.

Periods are funny that way. Some of us run like a train — on time, every time. Those lucky ladies can prep, plug up, pad up, and rarely have period panties in their drawers. But the majority of us are held hostage by a reproductive system that comes when it pleases. Maybe 14 days since the last one. Maybe 20, hell, throw a curve ball in and maybe 40. And no, ignorant men, we cannot control it, hold it in, put it off.

So six weeks is an absurd timetable. But then, the GQP knows that much about women. And let’s be honest, this law, and so many others like it winding their way through legislatures across the country, has nothing to do with protecting the fetus, being pro-life, or uber Christian. These laws are about controlling women.

Controlling our access to reproductive care. Controlling our options. Controlling our bodily autonomy.

What’s hilarious in this is that the very same crybabies whining “My body, my choice” about mask mandates and vaccine requirements are fapping themselves silly over this restrictive law denying women dominion over their bodies, their choices.

But the law doesn’t just stop with a 6 week ban on abortion access. Oh no, what fun would that be? Now, in Texas, you can sue someone for aiding a woman in getting an abortion after 6 weeks. That’s right — there is now a cash bounty of $10,000 on the heads of those who would encourage, aid, or support a woman in obtaining the procedure. Doctors, clergy, family members, friends, clinic staff, the Uber driver that transports a woman to a clinic — all could be dragged into court, tried, and fined $10,000 and the court costs of the Gladys Karen Kravitz who stuck their nose in where it has no business being.

Called The Texas Heartbeat Act — it is a medical misnomer. What these rabidly ignorant right-to-LIEfers call a heartbeat is actually just electrical activity in the tissue that will go on to form a heart. But then FACTS have no place in their hypocritical bullshit.

One need only look at their handling of COVID-19, a pandemic that has taken 658,103 lives as of this writing. Mitigating the deadly spread is breathtakingly simply — wear a fucking mask, wash your hands, and get the FREE vaccine shots. THAT is how you take pro-life steps. Instead, these Facebook “doctors and nurses” bleat about masks being akin to Auschwitz, they storm school board meetings threatening the ones making the decisions about masking in schools, and spread horse dewormer on their morning bagels.

The result? Texas is currently #2 in cases (3,625,256 total, 12,228 in the past 24 hours alone), deaths (57,556), and a death per millions rate (1,985) that is almost the national rate (1,975).

The pro-lifery of Texas is a fucking joke. It is easier to get a gun in that backass state than a COVID test. They can write up and enforce dress codes that send a girl home for spaghetti straps, but cannot implement a mask requirement in schools. They have no problem putting small children through active shooter drills because of the very real risk of school shootings, but they cry foul at the mention of masks or quarantine for infected students in the face of the very real pandemic of coronavirus.

And yes, I know that asking Texass or any GQP heavy state to make sense is a fool’s errand. I have lived more years of my life in that state than I ever envisioned I would. I currently have two children still there, daughters both, so this latest strike against their right to choose is personal.

As has been said many times, outlawing abortions will not end abortions. It will only end SAFE abortions. And Texas pulling shit like this will only serve to create a network of people like me happy to facilitate access to travel and out of state reproductive care for those now trapped in our nation’s Gilead. Yes, reproductive care. That is what an abortion is. And it has fuck-all to do with anyone other than the woman and her healthcare provider.

Think not? Think all these bleating pro-life sheep have a stake in an unwanted, compromised, or life threatening pregnancy? Bull and shit. They cry and threaten and wave their misspelled signs, but do they take a woman in and pay for the pregnancy and resulting baby? Do they stand waiting to adopt all the babies that will be born from this intrusive law? Do they champion healthcare, food, support, aid for the subsequent children, and the women who will be forced to have these kids they did not wish to bring into this world? Do you really think that actually care about babies or growing children?

If you believe that, I have some horse paste to shove up your ass when your COVID test comes back positive.

And not for nothing, but where are the provisions for the men involved in these pregnancies? Where is the mandatory child support in this law? Where is the ironclad requirement that the sperm donor be present in the child’s life till death do they part? Hell, for that matter, where is the law making male masturbation a felony?

Where is the Texas Mansplatter Act that awards me $10,000 for every man and his stiff tube sock or wad of Kleenex I turn in? Now there’s a pro-life law! Every product of a chicken choking that is wiped off his stomach, tossed in a trash can, or wasted on the sheets represents BILLIONS of potential lives.

And that is, after all, what we are talking about. Potential life. Not active, viable, ready to take a breath life, but cells. The building blocks, yes, but not the complete Lego baby. There is no true heartbeat at six weeks. At best what is in there resembles a miniscule shrimp. And if you want it, it is everything. I have been pregnant four times, and I have delivered three babies. I wanted to be pregnant each time, so even as a tiny prawn, I was all in.

But that was me. And that is where my influence and decision making begins and ends — with my body. I have never had an abortion. But I still have periods — even at 55 — and I can tell you straight up, without wavering, that if I were to turn up pregnant? I would have one. No question, no guilt, no hesitation. Because that would be MY choice for MY body and MY life and MY future.

(I am 100% pro-choice. That does not make me, as many right-to-lifers would like to grandstand, some rah-rah-PRO-ABORTION cheerleader. It simply means I do not believe I have the right to make decisions about the body of another human being. Not about how they treat a cold, combat cancer, strengthen a boner, pop a zit, or approach a pregnancy.

Should I be allowed to make someone have an abortion? To drag them from their house? What’s that? No? Because it’s your body and your choice to stay pregnant?

Bingo.)

Women have abortions for many reasons. And yes, there are some who turn to it as a form of birth control. But the majority of abortion procedures are performed for women who did take precautions yet still got pregnant; for women and girls who were raped; for young girls who were victims of incest; for women who desperately want their pregnancies but find out along the way that their fetus has no brain, or is severely compromised in any number of other ways; for women whose lives are found to be in danger by carrying to term. (FYI — the Texas law makes no allowances for rape and incest — gifts from God and all…)

Regardless of the reason, it is no one’s business but theirs. It is between her and her doctor. That’s it. If you don’t want me being able to hold sway when you come up with colon cancer, screaming that God doesn’t make mistakes, then who the hell do you think you are to insinuate yourself into another’s person’s medical decision making? How about a law that makes it impossible for you to have a tumor removed, or an abscess drained, or your totally predictable contracting of COVID treated because my religion demands you accept whatever the Divine doles out? There are religions like that in this country. Why shouldn’t they have as much power as you do?

What’s that again? Your body, your choice? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Sadly, the hypocrites on the other side of the abortion debate see it differently. Whether through the prism of their religion, politics, or personal morals, they do believe every woman’s body is theirs over which to rule.

I honestly don’t care where you fall in the debate. I ask only one thing: don’t bring a sponge to a brain fight.

If you want to enter a dialogue, be it about politics, programs, the Affordable Care Act, Afghanistan, education, or abortion, you’d better come with accurate information, an understanding of the issue, and FACTS.

If you cannot do that, sit down and STFU.

This country is replete with dullards, asshats, conspiracy theorists, and power hungry politicians spreading their lies, disinformation, and horse paste “medicine”. And people are dying daily because of them being allowed into positions of power. (Seriously, how many of your compatriots do you need to see die with a tube down their their gullets before you accept this is real and you should get vaccinated?) COVID bodies are again piling up in morgues and refrigerator trucks because of reprobates like Texass governor Greg Abbott and Floriduh’s Moron Deathsantis facilitating the spread of the virus at every opportunity. This abortion law will only serve to add to the dead as women take desperate measures to procure an abortion beyond the six week restriction.

GQP men have demonstrated their abject stupidity and ignorance of women’s bodies at every turn — uttering bullshit like “women can shut that down” (in cases of rape), that we should “swallow a small camera for a remote gynecological exam”, that they “never heard of a child becoming pregnant by rape”, “the juices just don’t flow during a rape” — yet they are the majority in passing these laws that take away our decision making over our own bodies. It is insulting, it is sickening, it is deadly.

Abortion is healthcare. It must remain safe and obtainable and private. The only thing that truly needs an abortion mandate is the GQP. It is long past time to rid this country of their unwanted presence and danger. If only we had a big enough coat hanger.