This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things … Like Christmas

In life, there is an immutable truth when it comes to human beings: No one likes being told they cannot do something. It triggers something inside each of us, even the most docile, complacent, go-along-to-get-along of personalities. We immediately feel constrained. We begin to chafe at whatever the rule is. We hear it as a challenge.

While we like to pile on teenagers as the ultimate in don’t-tell-me-what-to-do-itus — (my husband’s favorite parenting advice: If you want your daughter to bring home a guy on a motorcycle who smells like weed, just tell her she cannot, under any circumstances, bring home a skunky dude on a Kawasaki) — adults actually put teens to shame in this area.

Especially in the time of COVID.

Being asked to don a mask? The hue and cry that continues from so many referring to it as “slavery”, crying “my body, my choice!” and all manner of “fuck your plandemic” is shameful. It’s a piece of fabric. You’re not in a remake of The Man In The Iron Mask.

The refusal to comply with health warnings, experts’ cautions, to even apply a modicum of common sense to this situation is the reason we are where we are. 262,781 people dead. Hundreds of thousands of new cases daily — in South Dakota, more people are testing positive than negative. ICU beds filled to capacity. The National Guard being deployed in El Paso to assist with the backlog of dead COVID patients.

With cases surging across the country, doctors, scientists, experts have all been begging the public to stay home, to not travel, to sacrifice Thanksgiving with relatives so that we do not see a huge uptick in cases two weeks from. The result? Crybabies and selfish assclowns that we are, airports were already filled with travelers this past weekend. Interviews with “Mah freedumb!” MAGAts showcase the arrogance and mirtherism (they laugh at the mere thought of being prudent and cautious) at play. Caution and warnings be damned. They must share marshmallow topped yams and pumpkin pie with grandma. Give me Libby or give me death!

Sadly, far too many will end up with both.

This defiance coupled with willful stupidity is why we can’t have nice things. Like Christmas.

We have watched from the beginning as wide swaths of people have refused to follow the guidelines. Memorial Day weekend was our first glimpse at how little our leaders cared about our lives and how little we actually care about each other. Governors threw open pools, water parks, restaurants, bars, and people swarmed like moths to the flame. Two weeks later, that flame exploded and cases began to surge.

All summer we watched as beaches overflowed with maskless sun worshippers. Florida, proving that the epitome of Floriduh Man actually governs the state, opened amusement parks and people flocked. Disney just announced they will begin allowing people to park hop once again. Pay no attention to the facts that Florida is quickly closing in on one million cases and 18,000 deaths. M-I-C-K-E-Y C-O-V-I-D!

Superspreader events like the motorcycle fiesta in Sturgis was great for local businesses, and a boon for viral spread across statelines. Trump joined in with multiple rallies each day, leaving sickness and death in his wake.

But it’s not just the big ones that make the national news that are to blame for the surges and for why we cannot have nice things.

Take the sneak weddings that have been taking place. The ones that violate restrictions on numbers of people allowed to gather, flout mask requirements of the facilities. Helmed by brides and grooms who truly don’t give shit one about anything but their own interests, these weddings have spread the virus and taken lives. I have written about the Maine wedding in August that is now to blame for 180 cases and 7 deaths — those 7 people were not even at the wedding. But even with that cautionary tale extensively covered in the media, it has not stopped more brats from walking down the aisle.

Anthony and Mikayla Bishop of Ohio simply would not postpone their Halloween, indoor wedding. Their concession? Cut the guest list to 85 and provide hand sanitizer and masks. Go figure, few availed themselves of the precautions, as Mikayla noted when walking down the aisle and seeing everyone’s faces. The result? Both she and Anthony came up positive — he with milder symptoms, she could not get off the couch. Helluva honeymoon. 32 of their guests also contracted COVID, including their elderly grandparents who required ER visits. Now they want to warn people.

“Weddings are definitely scary right now. I didn’t think that almost half of our wedding guests were gonna get sick,” Mikayla said. “You’re in the moment. You’re having fun. You don’t think about COVID anymore.”

Gee, little girl, if only some experts had been banging the drum for months… Idiot. Oh, by the way, the grandparents? They were the only ones who wore masks at the wedding and reception.

A November 7th wedding in Washington has been deemed a “high-magnitude super-spreader” event after 300 people — in clear violation of state ordinances prohibiting weddings larger than 30 — is now attributed with 40 positive cases and that number is expected to continue to grow exponentially among the attendees and the innocent people they have gone forth and infected back in their towns. (The cases literally doubled in two days.)

Grant County public health authorities are dealing with coronavirus outbreaks at a long-term care facility and a school district with a direct link to wedding attendance or secondary cases resulting from contact with wedding participants.

And it’s not just regular people being selfish. White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows hosted his daughter’s wedding in May in Atlanta. At the time, state and municipal guidelines limited gatherings to 10 people or less. Well, eff that. The rules don’t apply to these people, right? In photographs that were briefly online, the bridal party alone numbered 21 people. Masks? We don’t need no stinkin’ masks. Once word began to spread, the photos were yanked down, and Meadows has been unrepentant.

Look, my own daughter should be happily married right now. But after postponing it twice, they have postponed it indefinitely. The health of their loved ones taking huge precedent over their own desire to be feted and throw a party. Like so many people missing their special days, I hurt for them, but am also proud of them. They get it.

Far too many do not. Far too many rely on arrogance and hubris and the repeatedly-proven-false notion that “nothing bad will happen”.

The White House is committed to its superspreader reputation. Seriously, how many photos will we need to see of unmasked gatherings with the predictable fallout of positive cases within two weeks before they stop? Rhetorical question. It is not difficult to see them spreading COVID throughout the place right up to midnight January 20, 2021. Biden and Harris will need to enter wearing hazmat suits.

Last week, the Kappa Delta sorority girls at University of Alabama were getting ready to host their yearly 600 person farm party bash, with the 4–2 blessing of the city council. Their concessions to COVID? Attendees would be parceled into groups of 200 and be bussed to the event site in shifts. Alcohol would still flow, dancing and mingling would still be the goal, but students would wear masks. Uh huh. (Pause for eye roll and snort laugh.)

Once word got out about this completely asinine event, the publicity was not the good kind. It ended up being canceled and the 4 council people who voted for it began spinning faster than a Soul Cycle class.

Councilor Phyllis Odom said she “deeply regret[ed] voting in favor of this party, which goes against everything I believe about the spread of the coronavirus. It was careless and irresponsible, and I apologize to the citizens of Tuscaloosa. It clearly sends the wrong message our community.”

Ya think, Phyllis?

Again, why we cannot have nice things. Like holidays and parties and weddings and school.

Just this past weekend, The Wharf in Fort Lauderdale, a massive bar, restaurant, party location reopened for business. Crowds of maskless partiers dancing, drinking and hanging out with no social distancing filled photos that hit social media. The owners of The Wharf swear they reconfigured, took precautions, etc before reopening after 8 months of closure. They also said capacity would be limited and masks would be worn by guests when they were not drinking or eating.

Um, ok.

The Wharf was issued three citations over the course of Friday night and Saturday for not followings public health guidelines.

Dr. Ralph Levy, who lives nearby, walked by The Wharf around 9 p.m. Friday and watched the scene in disbelief. “As a doctor who has gone through this since March it was disheartening,” he said. “The place was packed, everybody was close together.”

And guess what? After two days, The Wharf has closed again. Go figure.

The examples are endless. And we have no one to blame but our government and ourselves. From the beginning we have had irresponsible, cavalier, deadly attitudes in the highest offices. We have had inept, uneducated, blatantly careless moneygrubbers in charge of the response. Zero responsible, coherent messaging to the country. In terms of leading by example? Well, Trump’s example had been to not give two shits so millions in this country have followed suit. And the result is over a quarter million people have died.

The complaints from regular citizens about Thanksgiving cautions have been ridiculous. The whining, the tantrums, the attitude that without shared stuffing, there is no life worth living? Laughable. But we also have nightly talking heads riling up the unwashed mASSES, encouraging them to visit each other, gather, be festive. Seantor Rand Paul, a fucking eye doctor, was publicly telling people who have had COVID to rip off their masks and go forth and have a great time because they are immune — NOT TRUE. And Ted Cruz, whose own wife did not merit the type of defense being enjoyed by Thanksgiving (he is Canadian, by the way, making his histrionics that much more bullshit laden), posted this on his Twitter feed.

Seriously. FFS, people. This fixation on missing turkey with cousin Nell this year is just pathetic. You don’t even fucking like cousin Nell. She’s an asshole. Like you. And your contention that it might be the last year to share it with Grandpa Ed? Well, you are sure setting it up to be a self fulfilling prophecy by exposing him to your aerosol delights.

We are mired in this pandemic. We have made no headway, and are currently losing one person every minute in this country to COVID. In fact, while I have been typing this, the stats have been updated again. 516 more people dead. 94,624 new cases since 10am this morning.

We are setting ourselves up for a very bad fall as we enter December. Hospitals are already unable to accommodate the influx. What happens in two weeks time when all the people on those airplanes who just HAVE to see each other, drag coronavirus back to their respective cities, businesses, friends?

You think wearing a mask is uncomfortable on your flight, at the store? THIS is uncomfortable. THIS will be many of you in two weeks. ICUs are overflowing with people currently on ventilators, fighting for their lives. Doctors describe patients with between 2 and 10 different IV drips going into them to try to keep them alive and fighting. This is real. And by Christmas, close to 50,000 of us will be dead.

Thanksgiving is nice. Seeing our relatives, traveling, are things we are all missing. But it is our own fault that our holiday season is playing out this way. If we had paid attention, been smarter, cared about one another, and had a government that led with science, not with ego, with compassion, not cronyism, we would be in a much different place.

But we didn’t. We are selfish, short sighted, arrogant, petulant brats who cannot stand being told we can’t do something.

And this is why we can’t have nice things. Like life.